But it isn't, and let me tell you why before I talk about how brilliant this game is.
First, the bad news
Three demerits, from least to most disturbing:
1) Super ugly monsters.
2) Lotsa blood, lotsa decapitation, lotsa gory crime scenes.
3) Overall amount of graphic violence, plus a few scenes of sexual violence. (And while you can avenge victims, it still leaves a bad taste.)
I realize these are thematic elements, not actual problems with gameplay. But my revulsion towards these elements means I wouldn't have persevered with Witcher 3, much less picked up the game...
... had my brother-in-law not raved for weeks about its awesome storytelling and bought me a Game of the Year Edition copy.
Now that I've played it, I'll shout from the rooftops too: Seriously, this is the best game writing ever! I'm talking about the characters, the dialogue, the dozens of major and minor plot outcomes based on weighty player decisions.
Being Geralt of Rivia
Okay, wait, back up. First, what is The Witcher? In ten words: Polish RPG series based on novels by author Andrzej Sapkowski. Main character: Geralt. Occupation: Witcher, a.k.a. monster-hunting investigator. Mission: Searching for his daughter. Daily life: Fights monsters for cash, solves people's miseries and mysteries. Has a love life too.
Initially, I wasn't excited about role-playing Geralt. Why would I want to be a white-haired old man? Why shouldn't I play more Dragon Age instead, where I can be anyone I want to be?
Turns out Geralt wasn't exactly an old man -- not in the frail human sense -- and neither was he boring to play. In fact, he's got this wry sense of humor that kept me entertained all 100+ hours.
And wry humor fits pretty well in the grim, gritty world that Geralt inhabits. Witcher 3 begins in the dreariest of lands. You muck about the swamps of Velen, the background music appropriately depressing. Most of the lifeforms you meet are disagreeable, if they aren't also monsters or human bandits.
But the immersive experience gets more rewarding as you progress, both in terms of story and setting. Your first city, Novigrad, will be such a refreshing change from the swamps of Velen that you'll almost fail to notice Novigrad's social atmosphere to be a dampener, what with witchhunts and minority discrimination. But you'll also travel to the islands of Skellige, which are simply lovely. In Skellige lies the sort of idyllic Nature you initially thought missing from this fantasy world. Even the music's more uplifting here, and folks are nicer.
Oh, you've got such a long journey ahead..
Don't let that big world scare you
Witcher 3 wasn't my first open-world game, so I wasn't overwhelmed by its immensity. I was, however, intimidated by the system. The inventory, abilities and mutagens, alchemy -- what to do with them? But in time, everything made sense.
The game isn't demanding at all if you're playing on the easiest difficulty ("Just the Story"). Which I was, so combat wasn't tough.
To keep the game simple on my first run, I chose to develop Geralt as a fighter who relies on the good old sword. If you want more interesting combat, you can develop Geralt's mage abilities (called Signs) or alchemy abilities (making advanced use of Potions, Bombs, etc.). Or you can develop a blend of abilities.
Understandably, there are endless diversions: sidequests, monster contracts, treasure hunts, horse racing, and -- the queen of all diversions -- Gwent, a card game.
Gwent is Witcher 3's stellar minigame that's hardly mini. If you turn into a Gwent aficionado like I did, you'll be traveling all over the world to best other Gwent players and win unique cards. Play if you like, ignore if you don't.
Story and Sword
Now, the beauty of Witcher 3 lies not even in Skellige sunsets but in the game's stories.
As Geralt, you get to influence the outcome of these stories through dialogue choices. People live or die, accordingly. Major characters included.
Some choices are difficult: You have to choose between two bad outcomes. And it's not always clear which is the lesser evil. So you're forced to give thought to these dialogue decisions. But some choices are time-sensitive, giving you only seconds to react.
When I wasn't playing Witcher, I found myself peeking into forums to see what choices other players made. Whom did they help, whom did they sacrifice? The forum discussions are telling of the depth of Witcher stories. The choices can be argued either way. They express not only the way each person chooses to role-play Geralt, but also each person's actual way of seeing the world, human nature, and ethical reasoning.
And oh, it's not just the weighty freedom of choice that makes Witcher's stories good. It's the plots themselves too. Sidequests are usually much more interesting than they first appear. There's always some twist in the plot. In fact, this was a writing principle that CD Projekt Red's team adhered to: There should always be a twist.
Lastly, what makes these quests worthwhile is that they aren't centered on tasks (like "fetch this bucket") but focus on people; these are characters who worry, bleed, cry.
As for the main story, Witcher 3's is a father-daughter tale. This isn't very apparent in the early game but grows in force as you proceed. I loved the game's supporting cast, including Geralt's adopted daughter Ciri, who has her own story arc threaded throughout the main storyline.
Witcher 3: Wild Hunt concludes with three possible endings (two "good" and one "bad"), along with various sub-endings for the side characters. The ending I got was satisfying and, in fact, pretty moving.
Even if I wasn't impressed by Witcher 3's graphics, I was impressed by the many cutscenes' cinematic direction.
A final word on writing: One must mention the superb localization. Not that I speak Polish. But the result of a good localization is that the player feels it was written for their own language -- perhaps even for their own culture. Since Witcher is said to be a fairly Polish/East European game, that's quite an accomplishment.
Conclusion
I recommend Witcher 3: Wild Hunt if you're looking for great stories or great writing. I just don't recommend it to your kids, or if you're looking for something cute and pretty.
If you're up for Witcher 3, don't hesitate to cough up extra bucks for the Game of the Year edition, which comes with two expansions -- Hearts of Stone and Blood & Wine.
Finished the main game at 111 hours with a level 35 Geralt. Completed all quests except one contract, a few horse-racing quests, and some gear hunts. Total time spent on Witcher 3: Wild Hunt and both expansions: 150 hours.